The story of Rubie (“Rubae”) M. Peters and Austin D. Eubanks

(Wondering “why Rubae”? Check out the “tidbits” Q&A tab above!)

Introduction

It all started 13.7 billion years ago when every speck of energy in the universe jammed into a very tiny and dense point, which then exploded with unimaginable force, creating matter and propelling it outward to make the billions of galaxies of our vast universe. Approximately 13.69 billion (and some change) years later, Rubae, a graduate student at Ole Miss, and Austin, a graduate student at University of Arkansas, were serendipitously brought together, in early March 2018, at a social psychology conference in Atlanta.

Meet the Bride

Of course, Rubae didn’t just magically appear at Ole Miss in 2018; indeed, she was born in Wichita, KS in 1991. In her early years, she grew up in the Wichita area (Eldorado and Towanda, KS) up until 2nd grade. During that time, she spent most of her days hanging out with her paternal grandparents - Grammy and Dopper - and being a big sister to her new younger siblings, Aaron, Greta, and Savannah. Her family then moved to the north east corner of Kansas (Lenexa, KS) where she spend most of her late elementary school years playing in the local soccer club and computer games like the Sims and Roller Coaster Tycoon. Then around 8th grade Rubae’s family moved to good ole southwest Kansas and closer to her maternal grandparents - Mimi and Poppy. During that time she spent her time working as a waitress and debating on the varsity team for her high school’s Policy Debate Club. (Rubae, enjoying arguing with people? You don’t say!) After graduating high school in 2009, she began working on her undergraduate degree at the University of Kansas, eventually earning a B.G.S. in Psychology and double minoring in Philosophy and Statistics in 2013. From there Rubae moved to Washington DC, where she worked towards and earned her Master’s Degree Psychology from American University. In her off time, Rubae worked as a waitress at a local dive bar, and travelled around the east coast states, including New York, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania. From there, Rubae left DC for the south where she began a doctoral program at the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss). Besides this being the next step in her academic career, it was also the years where she and Austin met in Atlanta.

Meet the Groom

Naturally, Austin didn’t magically appear at U of A in 2018 either. He was born in Birmingham, AL in 1988 (third in line behind a sister and brother, Kayla and Will), and moved to San Antonio shortly thereafter. A few years later his younger siblings, Anna-Grace and Colton came along, and they all called Texas home until the family moved back to Alabama (Russellville) when he was in third grade, and then on to Jonesboro, AR in sixth grade. Across these early years of life, Austin’s main passions were playing baseball, and hunting (primarily duck hunting). Austin remained in Jonesboro until 2006 when he was 17 and joined the Marine Corps after graduating high school early. As an anti-tank infantryman, he was stationed with Weapons Company, Third Battalion, Seventh Marines (or “Whiskey 3/7”) until he reenlisted after his second deployment to Iraq, and was sent to Quantico, VA in 2009. In Quantico, Austin spent 3.5 years as a full time marksmanship instructor with Marksmanship Training Company, Weapons Training Battalion, "The Home of Marine Corps Marksmanship." His sons, Judah and Drew, were born in 2010 and 2011, before Austin was retired from the Marine Corps in summer 2012. In the fall of 2012, Austin started as an undergrad at the University of Arkansas, where he graduated (with honors) with a B.A. in Psychology in 2016. Fortunately, Austin was accepted into the PhD program in experimental psychology here at U of A and continued to study under Scott Eidelman, the same professor who was his undergrad honors thesis advisor. He completed his Master's degree in Psychology in 2018 and is anticipating finishing his PhD in December of this year or next May!

Back to How We Met

So are we all finally all caught up to 2018 and on the same page of how we got here? Good. Moving on then…. So here it is, March 2018, and we start talking through an app at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology Annual Conference in Atlanta. After an afternoon of messaging each other, we were thinking about meeting up for drinks later that night, but it seems fate wanted to step in and push things along a bit quicker because we had a stroke of “huh, small world!” luck (which was just the one of the first of many lucky breaks we’ve run into together)... Rubae and Lauren (Rubae’s “Honorary Maid of Honor”) were planning on going to Hard Rock Cafe for dinner, but on the way, Rubae saw Gibney’s Pub and decided “well let’s just go in here instead!” And so, they did. Rubae had been telling Laruen about “this guy she’s been talking to” she suddenly she said, “I think I just saw that guy I’ve been telling you about walk by!” Come to find out, Austin was meeting a few colleagues from the U of A (including Derrick, our Officiant) for drinks before the group went separate ways for the night, and they happened to decide to meet at Gibney’s. Of all the bars that could have been chosen, both Austin’s group and Rubae/Lauren had chosen to go to Gibney’s Pub downtown that night. We had been messaging each other from maybe 50 feet away and didn’t even realize it. (We’ll like we said, Rubie thought she saw Austin, but wasn’t entirely sure… Austin was completely clueless at the time.)

So, we finally got to meet in person, and at the risk of sounding clichê, it was immediately apparent we were made for each other. We could go on and on with all the details of everything that took place over that night, but we’ll save you the full-length novel and just say that by the very next morning, Austin had already told his brother, Will, “I have to tell you about this girl I met last night…. She’s a social psychology PhD student at Ole Miss and holy [crap] she is gorgeous and waaaaaay awesome.” By 8:15 am, Austin had told Will, “Yesterday, I told Derrick I need to find a woman who [enjoys using the same stats/data science programming language/software that I love] and marry her… Then lo-and-behold, there she is.” And now, three years later, we see just how right Austin was without even realizing it! (*eyerooooolllllllll* —Rubae) Speaking of being so very incredibly right and not even realizing it, once we met, Rubae had spent no more than 10 minutes talking to Austin before she said, “You are a neurotically precise person aren’t you?” Austin replied, “you have no idea just how right you are.” But here we are now and Rubae has spent the last 3 years learning just how right she was out of the gate! (I always knew she was a brilliant woman!! —Austin ;-))

Over the next few days at the conference, we hardly “conferenced” at all, and instead just spent all of our time together. The morning we had to leave the conference, we sat outside the hotel trying to figure out where to go from there. Neither of us really knew, but what we did know is that Oxford is about a 6 hour drive from Fayetteville, that we had both felt something in the previous few days that was real and unique enough that we were willing to explore where it took us, and that it was worth testing if that distance was manageable.

Going Forward

It didn’t take long before Rubae visited Fayetteville, as it were. There was a long holiday weekend only about 3 weeks after the conference so Rubae grabbed a cheap flight into a close(ish) regional airport. We got home from the airport just in time to pick up “the boys” (Judah and Drew) from school, so it would be the first time she got to meet the boys. Austin fondly recalls cooking supper after they got in from school and listening into the living room as the boys excitedly showed Rubae their favorite video games; it seemed immediately apparent that all the stars and planets had aligned just so, because Rubae fit with Judah and Drew as well as she did with Austin.

So we were certain after this first trip we would figure out how to make the distance work, but at least we knew it was “a thing.” Over the next two years, we found a way to be together anytime there was a long weekend, holiday, or school break for one reason or another. Rubae would often drive to Fayetteville, and Austin would sometimes go to Oxford instead. Even Judah and Drew took a few weekend trips to Oxford with Austin. Knowing how much Judah and Drew love science, Rubae arranged for a tour of an acoustical physics lab and a marine biology lab on campus at Ole Miss just for the boys! The four of us had the best time exploring book shops, eating pizza... and on a trip to Oxford is where Rubae got to introduce the boys to what would become one of their favorite dessert shops: Insomnia Cookies. At the time there wasn’t one in Fayetteville, so boy did they look forward to going to Oxford because they knew we would get cookies at least one of the nights while on the trip.

These 2-3 night trips happened quite often, but that’s not the only travel in our story. That first summer (2018), we took the boys to visit their Aunt “Kay Kay” (plus (uncle) Carl and (cousin) Trill) in Orlando. We had so much fun! The highlights were going to the Bone Museum (Judah’s Choice), the Titanic Museum (Drew’s choice), and spending a day at the beach! So many wonderful memories were created on that trip. It became clear that not only were we coming together as a couple, but the four of us were coming together as a family.

Another trip everyone was quite fond of was the Thanksgiving 2019 road trip. By this point, Rubae had left her program and began working in Memphis. Austin, Judah, and Drew drove from Fayetteville, picked up Rubae, and then drove on to Athens, AL for a surprise Thanksgiving for Austin’s grandma (Nana). Then we all loaded up and headed down to Dothan for a couple nights with Rubae’s mom (Shawn) and family. Then it was back to Oxford and ultimately back to Fayetteville. All told, across 96 hours, there were 26 hours spent driving some 1700 miles. And it was phenomenal!

That much time on the road could drive anyone mad or frustrate the calmest people, but when we were all together in the car, everyone was somehow happy and it somehow just simply worked. And everything was going amazingly. Nightly facetime calls got us through trip to trip as we grew more in love every day.

Road Trips Aside

In December of 2019, Rubae finally decided to move to Memphis and continue her work as a data analyst for Shelby County Schools. AND THEN…… COVID happened!! This “new virus” was on our map as early as December 2019/January 2020 if for no other reason than one of Judah’s peculiarities is a semi-obsession with tracking natural disasters (etc.) on a daily basis. Even his 4th grade teacher would mention Judah “giving her an update on the virus in China (then later other countries as they started popping up).” Nonetheless, once Rubae was told to work remotely as Memphis went on lockdown in mid-March 2020, she packed up a couple suitcases and came to Fayetteville to “shelter in place” here. Over the next few months as the pandemic clearly got worse, Rubae would only occasionally make a trip back to Memphis for a night or two as needed to take care of this or that. Then, luck struck once again. In the summer of 2020, at the suggestion of a prior mentor, Rubae applied for a job at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences and got hired on as a Data Quality Analyst Associate. She immediately turned in her two-week’s notice in Memphis, and officially moved in with Austin and the boys, and became an Arkansan.

So even though 2020 was by nearly all conceivable metrics an utter dumpster fire of a year the world around, even this garbage year has a silver lining. Under any other circumstance, it’s possible Rubae wouldn’t have found that job opening and been able to get a job in Fayetteville. But even more to the point, it gave us A LOT of time being VERY close to one another…. You know, the way that would normally drive people mad, kind of like the long car trip… But again, all we discovered is that the more time we spend together the more we fall in love. And so Austin talked to both Judah and Drew separately to ask how they feel about Rubae, and how they’d feel about her marrying their dad. Both enthusiastically endorsed the idea without hesitation. And that was that; the decision had been made that Austin would propose, and so he did on Christmas morning 2020! (Well, Drew helped propose, but you’ll have to ask Rubae if you want the proposal story!)

So finally, here we are, all caught up with “the story of us” and getting ready for the wedding! We are so excited to have you spend our day with us! We both have so many wonderful “stories of us,” and we can’t wait to spend our wedding day sharing all this joy and more with you!

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