Story
THE GROOM'S STORY OF HOW THEY FIRST MET (with Sarah’s commentary in parentheses)
I don’t generally like to share sentimental thoughts, particularly in a public forum like the internet. So, let the record show that I am doing this at Sarah’s request. The fact that I am writing this is a testament to how much I love Sarah and find joy in making her happy (thank you Riiicckkk!). I apologize in advance for the plethora of inside jokes that are woven throughout this narrative, especially in the footnotes. I'm currently trying to figure out how to import my -- very witty -- footnotes into this website format, so if you are reading this, check back for a hilarious update soon! If you find yourself squinting in confusion, shaking your head in incomprehension, or doing that don’t-get-the-joke-but-want-to-be-polite half smile, please know that it is my poor attempt at a joke for Sarah or another member of the audience – perhaps even you, my dear listener! Better yet, check out the footnotes to be in on the joke! Indulge me – I’m getting married!
I first met Sarah at friend, groomsman, and calendar model Kody’s graduation party. My old housemates and I agreed to host his master’s-not-a-doctorate celebration. Kody was at our friend Luke’s coffee-shop-concert, where he met some random girls and – of course – invited them over to celebrate the next day. (We weren't totally random, but more friends of friends. I have been known to take rides/invites from random strangers, but this was not the case)
I remember I was sitting on the couch when Sarah walked in with Sarah, after our other friend Sarah had just arrived. (Our party trick that night was - "Hey! We're the Sarahs!") Now Sarah walked in with Sarah, and I thought to myself “Self, there’s a pretty girl… play it cool.” So I went over and greeted our new guests and invited them to make themselves at home. Now I’m going to be honest with you – perhaps it is just the baggage talking, but I had the philosophy that giving this pretty girl extra attention just because she was cute would do her – and the rest of us – no good. So I may have got her a drink or something, but I shortly made my way elsewhere to attend to Kody’s other random guests. (I guess he moved, because I remember first seeing Tom at the ping-pong table when we met. I waved at him when we were being introduced around. His "I'm not giving her extra attention" worked, because I forgot about him until we met again at the table.)
Fast forward to later that evening and Sarah had befriended future seminarian and my former Borromeo-housemate Jorge . So she’s chatting up Jorge, and cajoles him into playing ping-pong with her. (My goal that night was to make friends, so I tried to stay off the ping-pong table as long as I could... but when there's a ping-pong table in the room, you must play ping-pong.) She’s pretty good, and despite Jorge’s best efforts she beats him pretty soundly. To be honest, I don’t really recall how soundly she beat him – but in her story, she always beats him and like 10 other guys pretty handily. (It was three guys). Suffice it to say, she was gloating in her status as Queen of the Ping-Pong Table. But there was one thing that she didn’t know… *dramatic music* it was MY ping-pong table.
Eventually I think someone told her I was good at ping-pong and she asked me if I wanted to play. (FALSE - he called "winner" after I was beating everyone. I'm a humble winner and wouldn't draw attention to myself like that ;) ) Quick note: I’m pretty good at ping-pong. I don’t know if Emilio Estevez’s character from The Breakfast Club played ping pong, but if he did, I’d say I’m as good as him… ok, maybe not that good, but pretty close. Ya see… ping-pong was my preferred method of college-procrastination after I became a Karate Kid-level master of foosball. Friend and groomsman Joe and I used to spend hours playing ping-pong. We took breaks occasionally to study for art history with Brian “not yet a” Husband. Joe is the reigning Drunk Cup Champion though – so maybe he’s as good as Emilio Estevez’s character from the Breakfast Club.
So back to Sarah Santos of Sarahs – she asks me to join her at the ping-pong table, and I non-chalantly-cool-as-a-cucumber joined her ( Again, I didn't ask, but he was a super cool cucumber). Now, I have to tell you, what she did that moved her firmly from the “pretty-girl-be-cool-honey-bunny” category to squarely in the “you’ve-got-my-attention-yosemite-sam” column. As we were warming up with a few volleys, I made conversation about what she did professionally when she wasn’t coming to strangers’ houses for graduation parties for people she just met at a coffee-shop-concert. So Sarah, with this huge shit-eating grin, tells me that she is the “Grim Reaper of Credit Unions”. **My apologies for the expletive. I want this info-page to be family friendly, and I tried some kosher language to keep this more PG for the kids, but then all the synonyms just made it sound weird – so I came back to the original French.**
Now, I know – that kind of sounds creepy out of context. And if you don’t know what Sarah does for a living, she can tell you. All I know is that something about the way she metaphored herself into the angel of death with that poop-eating-grin **See what I mean?** really got my attention. That’s the moment a seed was planted in my heart. And that seed bloomed into a flower which grew into a vine that spread even onto this very webpage before you, hosted by GoDaddy, compliments of WithJoy.
As I’m sure you can surmise by this point, I defeated the Queen-Angel. Then she asked for a rematch. And another rematch. And I took a water break. And another one. We battled long into the night, with sweat dripping from our brows. Over the course of the evening, through shrieks of laughter, and lots of dancing in place, she softened my heart of stone and I felt pity for this former Queen. She finally won a match. She left the party with her crown reclaimed. (Turns out the more tired Tom gets, the better I become!)
A short time later, as the party was winding down, Sarah mentioned that she had recently joined St. Ignatius Catholic Church in Austin. I informed her that this was also my parish. She asked me if I knew of any good ministries that she could get involved in. I saw my opportunity and, cool-as-a-cucumber, asked for her digits so I could loop her into the ministry group I was working with *high-five*. I took my time and played it cool. Now I could tell you many more things: like how I avoided making a move for quite some time, because I didn’t want to screw it up, or how I found “ministry related” reasons to call or text her, or how she yelled at me when I didn’t kiss her (yell is a strong word)… but you have hung in there long enough. Plus, Sarah asked me to talk about the first time we met, and I think I have fulfilled my task. Reading to this point must have taken Herculean effort , and I thank you for your attention. All of my rambling also served as a filter – if you have stuck in this long you must truly love me... or Sarah. So I will share with you a dose of sentimentality that that lies underneath all my parenthetical asides and inside-jokes.
Meeting Sarah is – and this is not, unlike many other things in this narrative, exaggeration – the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. (Ditto.) She has ping-ponged her way into my heart. Sarah’s youngest sister and maid of honor Theresa once asked me when I knew Sarah was “the one.” I told Theresa that I couldn’t really point to a moment when I knew. One day, I realized that I not only loved Sarah, but I couldn’t imagine my life without her, and had felt this way for quite some time. For the first time in my life – on my good days – I care about someone else more than myself. I want to make her happy and bring her joy. When I’m with her, I feel most like myself. The sacrifices I make for her – like occasionally losing in ping-pong – pale in comparison to the joy I feel when I see that shit-eating grin.
I sincerely appreciate your captive attention. You’ve endured enough. I hope you find this info webpage helpful. I look forward to seeing you at our wedding and on the dance floor. (Tom is the best.)
Tidbits
How did Tom propose?
Tom surprised Sarah one Friday in Austin. He said we had dinner reservations at 7:30, but wanted to go by St. Ignatius (where we went to church when he lived here) first. We went over to the church and he insisted on saying the Joyful Mysteries. That's when Sarah thought something might be up, but wasn't sure. He then insisted on going to the chapel and on the way over there, in the green area on the side of the church, he got on one knee and asked Sarah to be his wife. He refused to give Sarah the ring until she said yes. He then said the place they were going to dinner was dog friendly, so they went back to Sarah's house to pick up HarvDog. The car ride over was filled with more sweet words and joyful tears. When they got to Sarah's house, they were bombarded with silly string from her sisters. Her whole family was there and there was a spread of all of her favorite foods: Taco Cabana, Papa Johns, Veggies, and of course, pizza rolls. Friends joined later and the night was filled with champagne and competitive Salad Bowl.
Where are you going for your honeymoon?
It's a surprise!
What's your favorite activity together?
Betting each other. Past bets include: how old is our Uber driver? Will mass be over or under an hour? Will more than 80% of the next 10 people we ask know when President's day is? Currently Sarah is winning, but still owes Tom some meals.
What's the best meal you have eaten together?
Tom took Sarah to a rotating sushi plate place for her birthday. IT WAS GREAT! There were small plates of sushi on a conveyor belt and you picked whichever one you wanted. THEN, you had to feed the empty plate into the machine in order to kill the monster. We killed the monster and won a cool stamp we lost a week later.
What's the most memorable trip you have taken together?
We went to Alaska with Nate and Amanda Norton and made the transition from Tricycle to Quadricycle officially official through bears, trains, and beer.