And with pitchforks waved on one side of the argument and confetti thrown from the other, people have feelings. STRONG feelings. It’s like if you asked people whether or not they think Taylor Swift is truly a nice person IRL….people have got themselves some strong opinions.
Trash the Dress is a waste, they might say. Or perhaps,
It is liberating!
It is disrespectful!
It is beautiful!
It is immature!
It is inspiring!
It is stupid!
It is brilliant!
For anyone who has gotten engaged or tried to plan a wedding, these opinions are nothing new. When you choose to involve any other human in your wedding planning process, they will have thoughts. From day one, you will quickly learn that others have strong feelings towards your decisions. Even when someone says “Everyone’s going to try to give you advice, but not me!” they tend to follow it up with, “…the one thing I’ll tell you is this…”
So maybe trashing the dress is a way for a bride to say to the world: I am not my dress. I am not a material object. I don’t care if you disagree with my choices.
It is no secret that women have expectations placed on them from day one. Even in our earliest childhood, girls are often called “beautiful” by those who meet them, while boys are often labelled “strong.”
There are few all-encompassing examples of a woman feeling the weight of expectations, whether from others to be beautiful or from herself to handle everything competently, than the wedding day. The pressure can be immense. The constriction of the experience can be draining. And the dress, though something many women are genuinely excited to find and wear, can still oftentimes be a bit uncomfortable.
So maybe trashing the dress is a way for a bride to say to the world: I am not my dress. I am not a material object. I don’t care if you disagree with my choices.
Or, maybe she is a nature baby and wants to “return to the earth” like some damn enchanted mermaid.
Or, maybe she is symbolically saying “never gona need to use this again! This marriage is IT.”
Or, maybe, she just thinks it’s fun as hell.
Or she loves her some awe-inspiring photography.
I don’t know.
But here’s what I do know: Anyone who has kept an eye on the narrative and rhetoric surrounding women’s choices in the past few centuries knows it’s not a new story at all to have people point fingers and say how dare she do that.
What about you? Have you ever considered trashing your dress?
katelynbarthlome.com
