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Inspiration » Proposal Story » Joy Proposal Story: Miriam & Elkin

Joy Proposal Story: Miriam & Elkin

by Allie Grampa

It took a year for these two to finally get together. When he finally popped the question, he remembered the most important part – asking her parents! (And this gesture meant the world to Miriam.)

Give us the details! When? Where? How?

It was a regular Friday night. We went out to dinner to Doña Tomás in Temescal. It was fun and normal. When it came time to dessert, I was ready to order the churros—we always order the churros—but he stopped me and said “I got chocolate for us to have at home.”

When we got to my apartment in Berkeley, I turned on the TV, and Elkin handed me the chocolate. He said to open it carefully because it had a poem inside. And as soon as I opened it, I heard the clear metal “ping” as the ring hit the floor. It didn’t quite register that this was the ring, and it took a few seconds to find the source of the sound on my colorful rug. I finally found the ring and as I looked up at Elkin, his face was covered in tears. He was saying sweet, romantic words about why he loved me so much.

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What touched me deeply, what still makes me cry every time I tell the story, was that he had called my parents to ask for their permission. You see, my mom has advanced Alzheimer’s, and her mind is drifting further and further away. Elkin knew how important it was for me to have her involved somehow.

Wedding planning has become a super stressful and expensive thing, but learning to negotiate and overcome the challenges you will face in literally every single front (money, family, intensity of work, planning, expectations, etc) is absolutely vital to create joyful and strong marriages.

At some point I said, “You have to go on one knee or something, no?” And he laughed and went on one knee and put the ring on. It fit perfectly. We are pretty sure he never officially asked “Will you marry me?” but that seemed inconsequential given the almost 9 months he had been planning this moment! The poem inside couldn’t have been more poignant and relevant for us. Then we drank champagne and ate the chocolate–Elkin had planned a romantic and luxurious day for us to celebrate the following morning.

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What has been your favorite experience planning the wedding?

The expressions of joy that people shared with us, such as the person that is celebrating 35 years of marriage who told me October was the best month for a wedding; or the people who sent the cutest, happiest notes of congratulations; or the friends and family who are truly happy for us. That has been the happiest part of this process.

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How do you stay sane under the pressures of wedding planning?

How does anybody stay sane? We have had more fights and disagreements since starting this process than ever before. The best advice I received was this: “What matter most is you two. Be kind and compassionate and above all remember why you are doing this.” The 2nd best advice, which actually turned out to be true, was that the little things won’t matter. They really, really won’t. Finally, to deal with (inevitable) family drama, we focused on seeing other people’s view points and really recognizing the feelings that the wedding brought forward for them. It didn’t mean we did what people wanted us to do; it just meant that we could understand that weddings bring out a lot of personal and family angst and we could move past it.

At Joy we believe that even though a wedding lasts a day, joy should last forever. What does that mean to you?

Wedding planning has become a super stressful and expensive thing, but learning to negotiate and overcome the challenges you will face in literally every single front (money, family, intensity of work, planning, expectations, etc) is absolutely vital to create joyful and strong marriages. Finding the humor in the mishaps (like finding out that 3 of your Mexican paper decorations, which are already strung up, say Merry Christmas!) or finding the sweet joy of making crafts for the wedding together with family and friends; those are the things that last forever and will bring you joy when you need it most.

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