Who are the Groomsmen / Honor Attendants?

    groomsmen in a hallway

    Who are the groomsmen?

    Groomsmen, or honor attendants, are often close friends and family of the groom. Choose people close to you, women or men, who can handle the responsibility.

    What are their responsibilities?

    Groomsmen, led by the best man, act as the groom’s entourage. They support the groom, throw him a party, and stand alongside him as he gets hitched. Specifically, the groomsmen’s responsibilities can include:

    • Throwing the bachelor party
    • Helping choose the groomsmen’s and groom’s attire
    • Attending pre-wedding events like the rehearsal dinner
    • Helping the groom get ready before the wedding
    • Taking part in the ceremony
    • Taking part in formal photos
    • Being ambassadors at the ceremony and reception, often acting as ushers, talking to guests, and getting the dancing started
    • Supporting the groom in any way he might need

    What do they pay for?

    Being a groomsman often comes with some financial responsibility. Groomsmen may pay for:

    • An engagement gift
    • Part of the bachelor party
    • Their attire for the wedding day (suit, tux, shoes, etc.)
    • A wedding gift

    To help your groomsmen save some money, consider suggesting they throw a more casual bachelor party, like a barbecue or a game night, and having them rent their attire for the wedding.

    How many groomsmen should I have?

    The number of groomsmen is usually proportional to the size of the wedding. At a small wedding you may just have one sidekick. It’s completely up to you.

    There are many ways to honor your friends and family at your wedding. If you feel like you’ve left someone out, consider inviting them to the bachelor party, or to participate in the ceremony by being an usher or doing a reading.

    Do we have to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen?

    There’s no rule that says you have to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. But you should consider how you want your ceremony and photos to look. Will your bridesmaids and groomsmen line up on opposite sides of the altar? Do you want everything to look balanced? Discuss with your partner and decide from there.

    Do I have to have groomsmen?

    If having groomsmen feels weird to you, by all means, skip it! You and your partner may decide to have one group of honor attendants, instead of separate groups for each of you. You may decide not to have any honor attendants, and instead have your closest friends and family give readings at the ceremony.

     

    While definitely not mandatory, having a wedding party is a great way to honor your most important people. Take some time with your partner to learn about the traditional roles of the wedding party. Think about if and how those traditions are important to you, and who you want to stand beside you on your big day. Then, by all means, make it your own.

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