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Inspiration » Wedding Planning » Wedding RSVP Cards: Asking the Right Questions and Getting Responses On Time

Wedding RSVP Cards: Asking the Right Questions and Getting Responses On Time

by Joy Editors
Wedding RSVP card insert for an invitation suite with a photo of a couple embracing and pan inset photo of palm trees

After you send out your wedding invitations, the waiting begins. Who on your guest list will actually attend? You can’t just sit around until the day of the event to find out, especially for an occasion with as much advance planning as a wedding. Asking invitees to send you their RSVP is common practice. 

An obvious benefit of asking for an RSVP is that you want your guest count to be as accurate as possible when it comes to finalizing orders. This number will be important for everything from catering to wedding favors. But there are other benefits of having your guests respond to your invitation, too. Think dietary restrictions and finding out if they’re bringing a plus-one, for example. And how you ask wedding RSVP questions is just as important. Here’s how to nail your wedding RSVP card wording so you can get responses on-time and finalize your guest list.

Wedding RSVP Card Options

The type of card you send can influence how quickly you get a response. And while wedding RSVP cards are a must, here’s some good news: You have options. Ultimately, you want to make the process of responding as easy as possible for your guests. Sending paper and digital RSVP cards gives people the option to respond in the way they are most comfortable with.

  • Paper: With paper cards, make sure they are pre-addressed and the postage is paid. This makes responding as simple as filling in the card and dropping it in the mail. Any extra steps your guests have to take will likely just lead to more delays. Even if you are using paper RSVP cards, it’s also a good idea to include your email address and the link to your wedding website. Giving people more options on how to RSVP can only help get them in faster!
  • Digital: Combining your digital RSVPs with a guest list management tool can really come in handy. Joy’s guest list tool automatically creates columns for your wedding RSVP questions and fills them in when invitees respond. It also allows you to see your RSVP rate and current guest count at a glance. Even if you have guests who prefer to respond by paper mail, you can easily add in their responses and have everything in one place.

Best RSVP Questions to Ask Your Guests

Joy wedding guest list manager

There are really just two things that an RSVP card must have: the RSVP deadline and a place for invitees to indicate whether they plan to attend or not. If you’re allowing single guests to bring plus-ones, it’s also essential to include a way for them to indicate if they will. 

We usually recommend gathering other relevant info, but if your main goal is to keep it simple, these are the best RSVP questions to ask your guests. Regardless, you’ll want to make sure that your RSVP card is easy to read and understand. You don’t want your loved ones accidentally marking “not attending” because the design isn’t clear! In keeping with the spirit of giving your guests options for responding, we also recommend that you include your email address and a link to your wedding website.

As for your RSVP deadline, set it for two weeks before you really need responses. This gives you time to contact invitees who have forgotten to respond. You can also check, double-check and triple-check your final guest count. You won’t want to end up panicking at the last minute because your cousin forgot to respond and is away on vacation the week you need to have your final guest list!

Of course, you also need to have a way for invitees to indicate whether they will attend with a simple yes or no. If you are allowing plus-ones, it can be a good idea to make that a yes or no question as well. Just keep in mind that if you do allow plus-ones, you have to be prepared for the possibility that all of your single guests will bring someone else along.

Other Wedding RSVP Questions

Digital RSVPs make it particularly easy to ask all the relevant questions, since you don’t have to worry about fitting it all on a physical card. However, you still don’t want to send all of your guests a questionnaire that takes them 15 minutes to fill out. Remember, making it easy for your guests to respond is key. From the questions below, you’ll want to choose which ones are most relevant to your wedding. If your really do need to include a lot of questions, make as many of them multiple-choice as you can.

With digital RSVPs, you don’t have to worry about getting all your text on a physical card. It makes it particularly easy to get answers to all the relevant questions. However, you still don’t want to send all of your guests a questionnaire that takes them 15 minutes to fill out. Remember, making it easy for your guests to respond is key. From the list below, choose only the questions that make sense for your big day. And if you really do need to include a lot of questions, make as many of them multiple choice as you can.

Mailing Address

Use your digital wedding RSVP card as a way to get everyone’s address for sending thank you notes after the wedding.

Phone Number

It can be a good idea to have a phone number for all of your guests. Ask for a cellular number to contact them in case of last-minute changes to the schedule or location, for example.

Dietary Restrictions or Allergies

It’s a great idea to include this question to better accommodate guests at meal time.

Hotel Accommodations

You can ask your guests whether they need help finding accommodations. If a lot of guests are traveling for the wedding, it’s a nice gesture to secure a discounted block of hotel rooms or at least provide suggestions for good places to stay near the venue.

Travel Needs

Consider travel arrangements specific to your wedding. If you’re providing a shuttle from their hotel to your venue, for example, you may want to have guests indicate whether they plan to take advantage of the ride. 

Relationship Status

Though being relegated to a singles table may not be something your guests want, this is still a useful detail to gather. Use this information when creating your seating chart to ensure tables have a healthy mix of singles and couples.There are plenty of other fun things you could ask as well, from what song they want to hear at the reception to their best marriage advice. If you have a Joy wedding website, the RSVP question tool will give you lots of creative suggestions!

Reminding Invitees to Respond

In a perfect world, everyone you invite to your wedding would read your invitation and respond right away. And even if in reality things aren’t so perfect, many of your guests might do that! But the obligations of daily life and the constant barrage of communications through email, text and social media, can make it easy to get distracted. Your guests definitely mean to let you know ASAP — it’s just that sometimes life gets in the way. Keeping this in mind can help you manage your expectations and focus on what’s important.

If you’re worried that some invitees may have missed your invitation somehow, Joy allows you to see whether guests have viewed the email. You may have an invitee who receives hundreds of emails a day, and it’s possible they just didn’t see it. If someone has viewed the email but has yet to respond, they may just be taking some time to make sure they are able to attend. In most cases, it’s best to wait until the RSVP deadline you indicated before using other methods to ask guests for a response.

Once the deadline has arrived and you really need a final guest count, it’s time to send some polite reminders. For some, this can be fraught with worries of offending potential guests. While it’s always important to be polite, you have every right to reach out to someone to confirm whether or not they will be attending. And in the real world, stuff happens. An RSVP card could have gotten lost in the mail or someone may have forgotten to click send on that email reply. To make the process easier, Joy also provides templates for reminder emails to help you with wording.

Know Who Will Be There and Plan for Them

Your wedding RSVP card is a vital part of your guest communication plan. Carefully planning the questions you want to ask and how guests can respond will only make things easier once it’s time to finalize your guest list. That way you can spend less time worrying about who will show up and more time planning a party that your guests will love!

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