Choosing your wedding party is like assembling your dream team. You get to pick your favorite people to surround you, support you, and —most importantly — celebrate with you throughout the wedding process. But choosing those individuals isn’t always easy. We’ve gathered some tried-and-true considerations to help you build your best wedding team.
Choose the people you value most
Your bridal party is made up of your VIPs. Take time to think about who those people are. Who do you want supporting you throughout the planning process? Whose input do you truly value? Who do you really want standing next to you on your wedding day? Choose people based on who you value most, instead of based on who you feel you “have to” include. (Family is the exception here. If you have two sisters and you’re closer to one than the other, it’s probably still a good idea to include them both in your wedding party.)
Keep your party proportional to your wedding size
The number of people in your wedding party can vary greatly. Generally, if you’re planning a small wedding you’d have a small wedding party with maybe one or two bridesmaids and groomsmen. If you’re having a big blowout, your wedding party can be proportionally large. How large is too large? That’s up to you. Just make sure everybody can fit in the photos together.
Don’t worry about being even
Although you might want to avoid looking extremely lopsided, the number of bridesmaids doesn’t need to match the number of groomsmen. Talk with your partner about how you who you each want to stand beside you and how you want the ceremony and photos to look.
Don’t feel obligated to include children
Flower girls and ring bearers definitely bring the cute factor to your ceremony. If it’s important to you that the children of your close family member or friend are included in the proceedings, by all means, include them! Otherwise, feel free to skip this tradition.
Don’t let convention rule
Unless you’re having an ultra-traditional wedding, wedding party conventions are just a starting point. You might decide to have one giant wedding party for you and your partner, or have none at all.
Also, don’t feel obligated to have exclusively male groomsmen or female bridesmaids. Choose your closest friends to stand beside you, regardless of whether they’ll wear a dress or a suit.
Think about the group dynamic
It’s possible not all of the people that you love also get along with one another. And while your wedding party definitely doesn’t have to all be friends with one another, they probably shouldn’t be enemies. Consider how the events leading up to your wedding will feel if there is bad blood in the room. If you don’t think a conversation with them will solve things, maybe decide to honor one (or both) of them in a different way. Instead, invite them to be an usher or to give a reading at the ceremony.