Erin and Patrick met at the Newport Folk Festival on the beer pier—that pier and its surrounding beaches would become an important place for them and their relationship. (Hint hint.) Pat proposed to Erin, but he only had Erin beat by a few weeks. Unbeknownst to one another, they both had a plan! We asked Erin and Pat to give us the scoop on the proposal (hangry partner included), how they stay sane under the pressures of wedding planning, and about how to keep that well of joy filled through the ups and downs of a relationship.
Give us the details! When? Where? How?
It was the weekend of June 24th and Pat and Erin’s generous friends, Kat and Ned, invite them to a family-friend’s place in Newport for the weekend. Neither Pat nor Erin are able to scoot early from work, so they are driving down to Newport on a summer Friday from Boston. Erin is getting antsy in traffic – Kat and Ned have a two year old and rarely get downtime as a family. “We’re going to be late, they’re waiting for us for dinner, and they’re probably exhausted,” Erin worries. As usual, Pat is chipper and positive and helps ease any stress. They are finally three minutes away from the house. Erin can practically smell the take-out waiting for them.
Suddenly, Pat makes a surprise u-turn to check out the sunset at Easton Beach. This is a special place for the couple – a few months into their relationship, on a balmy starlit evening, they stopped there on the way out of Newport and they both had a strong urge to say “I love you.” Neither of them did, of course, because it was “too soon.” Pat and Erin later admitted to one another how they felt that evening and Easton Beach became one of those unforgettable places.
Despite this tender gesture, Erin is furious – hunger and guilt over arriving late are winning out, and when they park at the beach she doesn’t get out of the car. “Seriously, Pat – we have all day tomorrow – we’re being rude.” Pat gently coaxes Erin out of the car, “Er, this is our spot. You don’t want to see the sunset?” Erin begrudgingly gets out of the car and can’t help but smile given this gorgeous setting and typical Pat-stunt.
They begin to walk towards the beach and Pat stops, turns around, and starts reciting a haiku about meeting at the festival that Erin shared in one of her first cards to Pat. He then gets down on a knee and asks. Erin is stunned and sobbing – a couple passed by and asked, “Are you ok? Is this good crying or bad crying?!” Erin says yes and shares her plan with Pat – four weeks later, the Sunday of the 2016 Newport Folk Festival, she was going to take him to Easton Beach and ask him to marry her.
When you’re truly in love with your partner, it’s easy to experience joy – it’s still getting excited when he texts you, it’s saying the same thing at the same time, it’s holding hands across the table at a restaurant, it’s playing hooky and exploring your city together, it’s slow dancing in your PJs in the living room, it’s being vulnerable with one another during a misunderstanding, it’s being one another’s biggest fan, it’s scream-singing together in the car.
What has been your favorite experience planning the wedding?
All of the road trips we did while venue-hunting! We went to New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island – each one better than the next. It was so magical exploring each place with the lens of hosting our family and friends there. The most amazing, helpful, and genuine people ran the venues we looked at and we have some incredible recommendations from our research!
How do you stay sane under the pressures of wedding planning?
Staying on the same page and not taking it all so seriously. A friend shared this early on and it’s remained our mantra: It’s about the marriage, not the wedding. We have the best friends and family, we fell in love with our venue (Quonquont Farm in Whatley, MA), and the folks at the farm are knowledgeable and organized – it will be unforgettable, even if we skimp on the fine china place settings!
What is your favorite part of using Joy for your wedding?
You can get really creative. It’s the perfect balance of templates and custom features (e.g., the fact that you can add your own tid-bit questions, but it’s preloaded with some to get you started). I also love that guests can upload photos! What an amazing way to collect special, candid moments from the day.
What piece of advice would you give couples to ensure that they use Joy to its fullest potential?
Really personalize it – tinker with the fonts, upload photos, share your story, add some tid-bits. Also, add a note about the people in your wedding party and who they are to you. On the app when you click on one of their photos, it takes you to this description and it’s really special for them to have something unique written there.
At Joy we believe that even though a wedding lasts a day, joy should last forever. What does that mean to you?
When you’re truly in love with your partner, it’s easy to experience joy – it’s still getting excited when he texts you, it’s saying the same thing at the same time, it’s holding hands across the table at a restaurant, it’s playing hooky and exploring your city together, it’s slow dancing in your PJs in the living room, it’s being vulnerable with one another during a misunderstanding, it’s being one another’s biggest fan, it’s scream-singing together in the car. Relationships are tricky – they require attention and effort. It’s easy to allow an argument to linger. It’s tough to get off it and be open, wounded, honest, and fair. Being present to joy in the everyday stuff helps build up a joy-reserve. When we’re temporarily experiencing a lack of joy, we can call on something simple – like a quick drive to the waterfront together while blasting Wrecking Ball – and, just like that, we’re back at joy.
